Your Sexual Blueprint

You’re one step closer to returning home. Answer the following questions as honestly and in depth as you can — you can skip anything you’re not ready for and come back. Your answers will autosave on this device so you can close the page and return.

First name *

Email *

The inbox where your blueprint should arrive.

WhatsApp *

International format, e.g. +1 555 000 0000. For your follow-up.

This map reads through your body’s lens *

The Sexual Map is written differently for the womb line and the hara line. Choose the one that is yours — the questions adjust to match.

Woman — the womb lineMan — the hara line

The Sexual Map — why you enter, what you’re looking for, the programming you were fed, and the rite that was missing.

This map goes where the culture won’t. Answer honestly — this is between you and your own body. If you’re in a relationship, you may want to answer alone first. Nothing here is graded or judged. Desire is information. The shadow is the unclaimed light.

Section 1 — The why-sex question

1. Why do you have sex? (Love? Connection? Pleasure? Obligation? To keep him? To feel wanted? To numb? To perform? To get it over with?)

2. What are you looking for THROUGH sex? (To be seen? To be held? To be chosen? To feel powerful? To surrender? To escape your mind? To feel alive?)

3. If sex is the last rite of passage in a culture with no rites — what are you performing?

4. What would you want sex to be if no one were watching, grading, or expecting?

Section 2 — The programming layer (Disney, virginity, religion and the good-girl script)

5. What did you learn sex was FOR? (Love? Marriage? His pleasure? Babies? Your duty?)

6. What Princess (Disney) programming infiltrated your relationships? (Waiting for Prince Charming to save or heal you? The rescue fantasy? The wedding as the ending instead of the beginning? What did “someday my prince will come” make you tolerate while you waited?)

7. What did you learn your virginity was? (A gift to save? A commodity? Shame if you lost it, shame if you kept it? Something to get rid of before he left? Something he took?)

8. What did your religion teach you about sex, your body, your pleasure, your blood? (Sex as sin? The body as shame? Desire as dirt? Purity as your only value? What did you have to un-believe before you could touch yourself without guilt?)

9. Who taught you that your pleasure is secondary — or irrelevant?

10. What did you learn from watching your mother’s relationship? (What sex looked like, what being a woman looked like, what receiving looked like — or didn’t.)

11. What’s the “good girl” sexual script you inherited? (Wait. Don’t ask. Don’t be too much. Don’t want. Perform enjoyment.)

12. When did you learn to fake it — pleasure, interest, orgasm? (And who were you protecting?)

13. What names were you taught for your body? (The clinical. The crude. The shameful. What did you call your womb — and what would she call herself if she could speak?)

14. What would “wham bam thank ya ma’am” sex have taught you about your worth?

Section 3 — The fantasy, masturbation and desire layer

15. When did you first touch yourself? Were you caught, shamed, or punished for it? (The first message your body received about its own pleasure.)

16. Do you masturbate now? (Daily? When lonely? When stressed? Never?) Is it release, numbing, reward, escape — or the only place you allow your own pleasure?

17. What’s the fantasy you return to? If that fantasy is a spiritual desire in code — what is it longing for? (To be pursued? To be overpowered? To surrender? To be safe? To be seen? To finally rest?)

18. What are your deepest and darkest desires, turn-ons and fetishes — the ones you’ve suppressed? (Name them without judgment. Desire is information, not indictment.)

19. Does pain appear in your sexuality — being taken, controlled, used, hurt, or being the one who takes? What is the pain trying to transmute? (Sexuality lives in the lower feminine body; spirituality lives in the upper masculine body. BDSM is the soul attempting to reach pleasure THROUGH pain without the container. The spiritual practice goes through the pain body ON PURPOSE — with a witness, a container, a rite — to access the lightbody. Pleasure. What is your body trying to heal with the pain it already knows?)

20. Do you fear being judged, shamed or made wrong for your sexual expression? (Who is the judge in the room — and whose voice is it?)

21. Are you aware of toxic patterns that keep repeating in your sexuality? (The same man? The same dynamic? The same disappearance of you?)

Section 4 — The womb entry question (the deepest)

22. What are YOU looking for when you open your body to someone?

23. Are you looking for: to be seen? To be held? To be chosen? To be enough? To merge? To be loved unconditionally? To fix him? To fix yourself? To prove you’re desirable?

24. What would it mean to be FULLY received — and what are you afraid would happen if you were?

25. Are you present during sex — or performing, watching from the ceiling, or gone?

26. What are you looking for in sex that you’re not getting anywhere else — and could you get it without sex?

Section 5 — The loss and the energetic ledger

27. Have you experienced an abortion or miscarriage? What thoughts, feelings and emotions are you still carrying in that body? (The womb keeps the ledger even when the mind closes the file.)

28. What energetic deposits from past partners are still stored in your womb? (Anger, frustration, stress, their childhood wounds — including what was left unconsciously when they ejaculated inside you?)

29. Are you aware of energetic cords or attachments to past partners? What still feeds through them?

Section 6 — The rites-of-passage weave (women)

30. Which of the 18 rites did you actually receive? (Conception, Gestation, Birth, Body Intel, Emotional Intel, Intellectual Intel, Instinctual Intel, Menarche/Blood Rite, Sacred Secretion, Sexuality, Union, Motherhood, Grief and Loss, Sacred Union/Hieros Gamos, Menopause, Elderhood, Death Passage, Beyond-Death.)

31. Where was the MISSING rite? (No mother to explain your blood? No celebration at menarche? No elder to witness your first love, your first loss, your first yes or no?)

32. What did you improvise when the Blood Rite was missing? (Shame instead of celebration. Secrecy instead of ceremony. The period as curse instead of portal.)

33. What would the rite have given you that shame couldn’t? (The witness. The meaning. The teaching that your blood is power, not punishment.)

Part C · The body’s foundation (both)

1. Can you feel your womb / hara outside of sex — without an erection, without arousal? What “symptoms” is it communicating? (For her: cycle, pain, numbness, clenched. For him: ED, PE, low libido, low drive, numb. The center speaks in symptoms when it has no voice.)

2. Which orgasms can you feel? (Women — clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, squirting, cervix/uterine, a-spot, p-spot, anal, breast, lips, skin, mental, full body, cosmic. Men — ejaculatory, prostate, anal/perineum, breast, oral, skin, mental, full body, cosmic. Which are open? Which are asleep?)

3. Do you self-pleasure the masculine way (end-goal oriented, contracting, pushing the orgasm out) or the feminine way (soft, slow, sensual, no expectations, relaxing so the orgasm can flow in)?

4. What is your relationship with your pelvic floor — can you feel it, flex it, control it?

5. What does your jaw do during sex — clench, lock, or let go? (Your jaw is your pelvic floor one story up.)

6. What does your throat do — silent, held, or does sound come out? Can you make noise on purpose, alone? (Sound is the pelvic floor’s exhale.)

7. Can you come? Easily, rarely, never — with a partner, alone, or only alone? (If never with a partner — what happens in the room when you get close?)

8. What happens in your mind right at the edge of orgasm? Do you tighten, stop, pull away, or go quiet? What are you afraid will happen if you let go completely? (The surrender wound lives at the threshold.)

9. Does sex hurt — and where? (For her: entry, deep, at the cervix, after. For him: pelvic, perineal, after ejaculation.) When did it start? What was happening in your life around that time? What is your body saying with the pain?

The Kundabuffer question (both)

10. Where do you feed the evil stepmother? (The fantasy loop — porn, compulsive fantasy, masturbation-as-numbing, sex-as-escape. Every time the serpent is fed fantasy, the Divine Mother stays asleep.)

11. What would it take to feed the Divine Mother instead? (Presence. Transmutation. Rite. Sacred Secretion practices.)

12. What’s the “finish” you’re chasing — and what would happen if there were no finish?

13. What would you do with your sexual energy if you consciously redirected it? (Transmutation = meaning-making, not suppression.)

14. Has sex ever felt compulsive — something you did with another person to manage a feeling (anger, loneliness, worthlessness, numbness) rather than express desire?

The pain body, the violation and the no (both)

15. The BDSM mirror — read this slowly: sexuality lives in the lower feminine body; spirituality lives in the upper masculine body. BDSM is the soul attempting to get pleasure FROM pain — the shadow version of the spiritual path, run without a container, without a witness, without a rite. The spiritual practice goes THROUGH the pain body — consciously, safely, with a guide — to access the lightbody. Pleasure. What pain does your sexuality keep trying to convert into pleasure? And what would it take to run that transmutation consciously — in a container, with a witness — instead of through a scene or a fantasy?

16. Has sex ever been taken from you — forced, coerced, pressured, traded, or survived? At what age? By whom? (This was not your fault. You can skip this question and come back to it. The map holds only what you are ready to hold — and what it holds for you gets named in the decode, never weaponized.)

17. Have you ever said yes when you meant no? (The fawn-yes — compliance as survival. Have you ever needed your no to be heard and it wasn’t? Can you stop mid-sex if you need to — and what happens in your body when you can’t?)

18. What is the first message you received about your body’s yes and no — and who delivered it?

The first time and the aftermath (both)

19. How was your first sexual experience? What did you feel during — and what did you feel after? Who did you become in that room?

20. What happens after sex now? (Stay or leave? Sleep or lie awake? Close or empty? Tears, laughter, silence?) What is the morning after like?

The relational layer (both)

21. Can you talk about sex with your partner — desires, dislikes, boundaries, the things you want to try? What happens when you try?

22. Who initiates? What happens in your body when you’re rejected — or when you reject?

23. Do you and your partner want the same amount and kind of sex? How is the gap handled — spoken, fought, numbed, or taken elsewhere?

24. What does your partner actually know about your sexual life — history, fantasies, habits? What would happen if they knew everything?

The structure of desire (fidelity and the forms) (both)

25. What did you promise about fidelity — to whom, and why? Has that promise been kept, broken, or renegotiated? What did the keeping or the breaking cost?

26. What is your honest relationship to threesomes, swinging, orgies — fantasy, lived, longed for, or feared? (They are not moral questions here — they are information. What do they promise you: more pleasure, more proof, more aliveness, the end of boredom, the end of the one?)

27. If your partner wanted a form of sex you didn’t — another person, another gender, another structure — what would rise in you? (Threat? Curiosity? Relief? Grief?) What would you need in order to say it without collapsing?

28. What would it mean to be enough for one person — and what makes that harder than being wanted by many?

The hidden and the forbidden (both)

29. Who were you taught you were allowed to desire — and who do you actually desire? (Has any attraction been hidden, suppressed, or shamed — by culture, religion, or your own hand?)

30. Is there a part of your sexuality you keep secret — from your partner, from yourself? What is the secret protecting?

31. Do you fear being judged, shamed, or made wrong for your sexual expression? (Who is the judge in the room — and whose voice is it?)

The closing question (both)

32. What did you feel filling this out — and which question did you want to skip? (The skipped question IS the map. If this form woke something, don’t numb it — bring it to the decode. The rite can be restored.)

I consent to Dr. Shelly reading these answers to build my personal blueprint, and to being contacted about it. *